whatever
Sep 30 , 2014 36161 © ©Share
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buildabitchworkshop:

god sent us steve carell

Sep 30 , 2014 46878 © ©Share
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quickbewitty:

quickbewitty:

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose

Sep 30 , 2014 6968 © ©Share
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Britney clearly has no idea what is happening in other countries.

Sep 29 , 2014 103690 © ©Share
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canaba:

Society towards bisexuals

Sep 29 , 2014 46843 © ©Share
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dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

Sep 29 , 2014 153131 © ©Share
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Kid gets a banana as a prank gift from his parents on his birthday. Look at his excitement. This kid is my hero. 

Kid gets a banana as a prank gift from his parents on his birthday. Look at his excitement. This kid is my hero. 

Sep 29 , 2014 73193 © ©Share
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pulpgang:

man door hand hook car door is honestly still the best story i’ve ever read

pulpgang:

man door hand hook car door is honestly still the best story i’ve ever read

Sep 29 , 2014 351330 © ©Share
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kngdmcat:

worthless-wolf:

blacksapphiredragon:

down-sizing:

Let’s remember, Jesus was a Jewish man of color, born homeless to an unwed teenager, who spent his formative years as an illegal immigrant before returning to his home country to hang out with twelve men, prostitutes, and socially untouchable tax collectors while he taught a radical social doctrine of equality, love, and forgiveness that included paying taxes, free healthcare, and the sharing of resources within a community.

#CANON JESUS IS SIX MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN FANON JESUS

Canon Jesus

Jesus called somebody an ass once because they where being rude to a crippled little old lady if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit then get out of my face.

kngdmcat:

worthless-wolf:

blacksapphiredragon:

down-sizing:

Let’s remember, Jesus was a Jewish man of color, born homeless to an unwed teenager, who spent his formative years as an illegal immigrant before returning to his home country to hang out with twelve men, prostitutes, and socially untouchable tax collectors while he taught a radical social doctrine of equality, love, and forgiveness that included paying taxes, free healthcare, and the sharing of resources within a community.

Canon Jesus

Jesus called somebody an ass once because they where being rude to a crippled little old lady if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit then get out of my face.

Sep 29 , 2014 18119 © ©Share
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by (Alejandro Manjon)
Sep 29 , 2014 446074 © ©Share
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ricflairsniece:

!
Sep 29 , 2014 172127 © ©Share
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divinedorothy:

if white people be like “white people be like” but i’m white and i be like white people be like “white people be like” then who’s driving the car

Sep 29 , 2014 8095 © ©Share
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confessionsofarebel:

I’m reminded of Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis”

confessionsofarebel:

I’m reminded of Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis”

Sep 29 , 2014 545 © ©Share
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heartscale:

my 3ds is back from being repaired so now i can resume my morning rituals of acnl and coffee

heartscale:

my 3ds is back from being repaired so now i can resume my morning rituals of acnl and coffee

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